The Black Mark- By David C Long
Dear Callum,
One month,
It’s now over one month since you took your last ride, so I thought I’d share a few things instead of keeping them inside.
I have been thinking about the memories and time we shared, wondering if I told people would they really of cared.
I remember when the microphone was huge in your hands, yet you sat next to me singing on rock band!
Playing songs that you have never heard, Rob the prez-o-dent Souls of Black and Freebird.
PlayStation 4 player split-screen moto GP, all on something like a 12 inch TV!
Playing doom 3 in the dark made our hands sweat, getting thirsty at 3 am so we would walk to the jet.
You being scared shitless of a cute little gremlin, Charlie Gutteridge on the phone pretending to be stripe saying he was coming!
Us working on that fuckin Aprilia 50 till gone 3 am, because yep you had blown it up….AGAIN
You often came home from school with a Redbull and a Starbar, only now do I realise how important these little things are!
For now, you have moved on and it doesn’t feel quite real, so maybe I should say how it’s made me feel.
Loss is like a black mark left on your very soul, filled with memories and pictures that once made you whole.
As the days go by more memories seem to drop by, some make me happy or sad but all make me cry.
As I carry this black mark for the rest of my days, I can not see it leaving me despite what they say.
I will hang white memories on the mark I now carry, for I know you are gone but you are always with me.
I will visit Cals Corner the spot where you passed, stopping and taking in nature because time just moves so fast!
I’ll light some Incense and wear your aftershave, and possibly ask you what monster do you crave?
I’ll say “good night Archie and Callum” every single night, to you it may be weird but to me, it’s just right.
But as the years go by and I get grey and old, know that your story will still be told!
A story of a huge young man, like Bob the builder, fix it Cal can!
A gentle giant with a heart of gold, but was never on time no matter how much he was told!
Waiting for hours in Wales to get on the bikes, because you had to have a shower do your hair have breakfast and smell alright!
You see all these memories are the white light I’ll carry on my black mark, and because of them I’ll always carry you in my heart x
Fly High- By David C Long
I’m sitting here thinking about when life was so different before my life was torn apart in an instant.
When I always felt you would always be there, now I’m wondering how on earth is this fare?!
I may have pushed you harder from time to time, but believe me, I just wanted the best for you down the line.
I remember in Wales when you were tired you would rub your head, then you walked into your room and proceeded to break your bed!
Your cheeky little smirk and the shrug of your shoulder, all I wish I could do right now is hold ya!
Going to Metallica with our 4 person crew, Callum Gutteridge, Rob Ward, Rob Brereton, and yea me too.
Being sick in your hands because of the peanut butter milkshake, hearing that cheeky voice say “for fuck sake”
Wardy giving you a guitar pick from a Metallica concert so you had something to have, that belongs to me now and will remain in its little bag.
Playing poker and eating pizza early into the morning, split-screen halo that came with the warning.
“Stop watching my screen!” we would all shout, but those memories are what our childhood was really about!
I always saw you as my son and I tried to be some form of dad, but when it really came down to it you were one of us lads!
As wardy said we were a lot older than you, but you were always part of our little crew!
I’m so sorry you were so young when you were taken, I feel like God should have taken me but was mistaken.
Just know I loved you dearly with all of my heart and soul, but please understand it will take me a long while.
To heal my heart which is filled with sadness, but on the flip side, it’s overflowing with gladness!
Because I knew you and knew what a man you would become, bad bones in your body there were NONE!
Know that I saw you as my son, my friend as well as my nephew, but please help us heal Cal because we miss you……
I will miss you every single day mate, your body may be gone but our memories certainly ain’t!
I will never forget you or the time we had, but please send me some strength so I’m not so sad.
Thank you for every day you were here, for the memories that now create tears.
I love you mate is all I can say, and I know I’ll see you again……. Some day
For every sky that shines,
Shall meet the pouring rain,
For my will shall never break, though it may bend,
Like the scars that heal yet never mend……
Fly high my boy I love you so much xx
How brave David is to share his letters to his nephew with us all. I honor him so much in bearing his soul, expressing his pain, and allowing us to read his words. Let David’s letters to Callum be a reminder to us of how precious our lives are. We only have one chance to make those memories, one chance to make the life we want. Don’t wait, don’t take a day for granted. In an entire moment, your whole life could change. Rest peacefully Callum, an angel who will walk beside his family every single day x
- Letters to my boy- By David C Long - August 19, 2020
- Final Words – See you up the road - July 5, 2020
